First, I'd like to start off by saying that this may be the hardest letter that I've ever written. Please don't think that this will be easy for me, for it is far from the case.
I would totally say the whole, "it's not me, it's you" bit... but it kind of is you. I can't deny that. And, it kind of is me. Let's just call a spade a spade and say that we are both to blame for this situation.
You see, pizza, I don't want to have to give you up. I love you. Very much. I don't want to have to give up something that I genuinely enjoy, but eating you could be dangerous to my overall health and well being since you are chock-full of gluten.
Because I don't have time to create a nice video montage of our experiences together, I would like to take a moment to think back on the fond memories that I have of you:
1. I love you in all forms. English muffin pizzas baked in the oven. Ellio's brand frozen pizza that I grew up with as a kid. I love you when you are delivered. I love you baked in a brick oven. And, even in this new fangled flatbread form.
2. Let's just marvel for a second at the simplicity of your ingredients. Dough. Tomato sauce. Cheese. I mean, what's not to love about that? Simple, yet elegant. That's your style, and I appreciate that.
3. Please don't take this the wrong way, but... you're easy.
4. You have been there for me through thick and thin. I vividly remember moving into our first home just a few years ago. We ordered delivery, opened the box on the floor, and ate right there since we didn't have plates or furniture yet. My oldest daughter was just a year old at the time and was running around holding onto your crust for dear life as she explored the house that we now call home. Hey- how about those times in college when I was pretty darn intoxicated? You were the food of choice for my roommates and I, and I swear that you never tasted better. You were there for me through breakups with boyfriends, for my kids' birthday parties, for lunches with my colleagues, and for an easy meal when we were too tired to cook in those early weeks of parenthood.
Sure, I can eat gluten free pizza if it comes to that. My favorite place nearby, Sorrentos (see pic below), recently sported a sign offering that choice. I do know that there are "plenty of fish in the sea," and I appreciate those type of well meaning comments. I have said them myself. But...let's face it, it's not the same.
So, dear pizza, this is it. I will cherish our time together and the memories that we have made.
Pizza. Oh, pizza. I will miss you.
Sincerely,
K
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